(Thanks, Sandy Santana!)
· Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
· A backward poet writes inverse.
· A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
· Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
· Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.
· A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
· A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
· Dancing cheek – to –cheek is really a form of floor play.
· Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
· Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
· Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
· When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
· A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
· What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)
· Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
· In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
· She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
· A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
· If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
· With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
· When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
· The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
· You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
· Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
· He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
· Every calendar’s days are numbered.
· A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
· A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
· He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
· A plateau is a high form of flattery.
· A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
· Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
· Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
· Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
· Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
· Acupuncture is a jab well done.
- more crazy English